Ever since i took out the spectacles he bought for me, i felt like i'm watching him. Why did i took out the spec? Coz i cried for few hours the night before, thus my eyes were swollen like a frog. I got to 'hide' myself behind something. Now, i'm taking it out again while blogging, I felt you!
So, i choose to hide behind 'you', like how i always did. The spec you bought me when you got yourself a new spec. Actually, my eyes was fine, but in order to be compatible with you, i request a spec. In the end, you bought me this computer lens - to protect my tiring eyes. However, the spec doesn't only protect my eyes from computer screen. It also take his role as shed for my swollen eyes. After we broke up, i did not cry for first few months. I was fine, totally fine. I felt relief, i felt the freedom, my foot step is light and carefree, i still live on with my routines as usual, until the month of Dec - the anniversary month, our first Christmas, the month i fall in love with you through how you protect me at Portuguese Settlement. I went Portuguese Settlement again......without you by my side. I passby every corner we went through, the memories flew through my mind like it happen yesterday. I was still fine until you told me, you spent your count down date with a girl. I felt heartache, my heart is bleeding. At that moment, i started to feel and realise that we are apart, we are no longer togther. We used to count down, spent any festival together ( i'm the one who insist to celebrate every festival). Ever after we broke up in June 2013, i don't celebrate any festival anymore. I don't feel the need anymore. What i regret the most is - i did not record every moment, every festival that we went through these far, only memories you left, and i know memories will fade away, It is just a matter of time. Sooner or later, you will get on with your new life holding new partner's hand and so do i.
I used to imagine, how would i behave if i ran into you on the street one day with your loved one. Will i ran off? Will i step forward and smile with you? Do i have any encouragement to do so? or i will stunned there? Or i would hope i'm not a lone soul.
I knew, you will only move on when i got my happiness (i believe on what you promised, in facts, i'm regret for you to promise)
No matter how far i go, you are the only one I LOVE DEEPLY. I will still love you until you found someone to love you like i did. By that time, i hope you will get your happiness, move on, have own kids (remember, let your kids grow like how they should be, don't insist on sending your boys to taekwando, don't get yout nightmare on them, i believe, they won't get bully coz they have you - just like how you protect me) but please do not forget me. Please keep me at a corner of your heart.
