EY 3rd Day

This is my third day, and im still sick, thought im getting better without going to see any doctor, i can't sick now i know. I have only 1 week training week to be charged to admin cost, my time will be charge to client next week onwards. I can fel the stress coming towards me.

Finally i manage to remember my access card password, but still cant remember what is the password of photostate machine, so i try to avoid using that.

It was really a HUGE difference comparing this week and last week. I was tend to online until 3 or 4am, and slept until 12 or 1pm, now, i slept at 11 something every night, wake up at 7am. The only similar thing is still TIRED. Last week, i was so boring until tired; this week i am busy until tired.

It was quite a big difference scope from audit dept to tax dept. At first, i think i have better idea on how to start and complete a audit file as compared to tax. When i refering to audit working paper either softcopy or hardcopy, i know i have same level of idea on both audit and tax.....I wonder what i have learn for 6 months intern... is it because STML?

Everyday time flies, really. Today, i left the firm at 7.30pm, i get a change and have a quick dinner. When i done my bathing, it was already 9.45pm, i was so exhausted, what else can i do? study? haha, i don't think so. I wonder how is the life for those who work until 12am....?? i can't even dare to imagine that day to come.

So, i would say, i am the 'wealthiest' during my uni life, at least i have enough time for study (not during final), shopping, yum cha, outing with friends, curiculum activities and so on. Now, working itself already exhaust me. If u ask me to choose again, i don't know am i having a wise decision, but i know, in term of work life balance wise, i will still choose tax for the time being.

p/s: i would like to thank Chin, Shan, Fong. Thanks for assist me this far....

First Permanent Job Report

First day work, first day of period of the month, first time fever and flu after this 2 months.......

I have ready myself to be in this kind of hectic life, just that i never imagine i will get sick this fast. First day only, even though i get myself mentally prepared, my physically drag me down, put me in fantasy of drowsiness over the medicine. I wonder why should fate arrange all these challenges for me when i swear to get all over again, stand up on my own. Why can't fate at least give me a hand, no, can just stop all those 'cruel thingy'.

Let's talk about my first day work, i get myself be ready and leave home at around 8.10am, although the distance will only take me around 5 min for 8.30am work. Then i was led by hr personnel to my seat and day dreaming start in the early morning. After that, i met one of my MMU coursemate, M, she is reporting her first day too, just like me. Both of us were told to familiar around and open up a new account at HXXX Bank, and this took us 2 hours plus, just because of temporary residence address stuff....Gosh.....this really pissed off our hr manager. Of course this problem solved at the end, luckily we don't need to have second visit.

After lunch, every hectic briefing starts, password itself already took me half an hour to register, all kinds of features, term and condition and length (not too long and to short, must be exact the number required, cham.....!!!) The HR personnel brief us, about the claim, selected rules and regulation, timesheet stuff, deadlines, professional examination stuff and a lot more. During the briefing, HR managr pop in and tell us that we won't have 2 weeks training like other new comers, this is because it is SUPER PEAK period, she expects us to get into work by next week onwards with less mistake. I wonder can i make it and after the briefing I wonder how much left in my memory usage (30% or 10%) I wonder but i hope i can remember every each of the one which i should at times.

Finally, clock tik tok...tik tok....until the moment i have been waiting, 5,15pm, count down 15 min to get out of the place and get some rest (have been sneezing & drowsying for the whole day long)...The moment i have been waiting come after i have been assigned one file.

Things to be done by this week/month:

1. Medical checkup
2. KWSP registration
3. WBL (Web Based Learning) (Month)
4. Genuine result transcript
5. Graduation registration thingy (month)
6. 1 week training
7. Timesheet

p/s: KP, thanks for your assistance on some workload. For those who are getting into working life, please make sure you have well prepared yourself with medical checkup report, KWSP registration, new bank account registration (if new bank required) and genuine result transcript. (all required letter can be requested from HR personnel) before start working. Wish you luck !!!

互相尊重是感情的元素之一

我不知道我的决定，会不会让我后悔。 我只知道，我真的，忍受到了极点，容忍到了极点。我也有自尊心，你不会尊重我，我就起码还能选择尊重我自己。这几天，只是该不该出席的问题，已经烦恼了我很多天了，如今我看开了许多。‘那是你的问题，不是我的’

你应该还记得，我说过的话，在这个世界上，有太多所谓的 ‘坏人’ 在我的生命中，虽然我没有反抗的能力，可是我至少还有保护自己的权利，我的方法没有改变过，痛过了，血流过了，我会选择离开。我没能像你们一样有心计，会玩伤害。对我来说，所谓朋友是用心交的，更何况是另一半，我从来没有把感情当赌注，当儿戏，我是认真的。你的不成熟，我选择用心等待，用心灌溉，我们一起成长，一起学习，我没关系。可是，你是否有那么一秒在伤害我之前，为我着想， 我会怎么样？还是，只要好玩就行了，享受当下，后果是不在考虑范围其中？好，就算是，你无心的， 事后可有想过好好解释，好好道歉。我知道我很生气，所以我选择离开，冷静了几天，我回来要求解释，道歉，你承认你错了。可我不认为你有反悔之意，不然你也不会说，‘对不起，。。。。满意了吗？’

当时我宁愿你没道歉。我选了冷静的几天，你完全不闻不问，当那件事没有发生过，我的心意完全被践踏了，可我还是选择相信， 你有苦衷，回来想问个明白，却得了一个，‘满意吗？’

若你认为你没有错，为什么认错？要是你认为你真的错了，你应该这样回答吗？

对不起，我有我的自尊心， 我选择不去参与你的盛会，我没有办法笑着面对你，还有你所有的亲戚。与其，带着一张面具让你难堪。 与其，忍辱恭喜你，我选择维持我的自尊， 默默为你献上祝福就好。

因为有始至终，我没有看到你希望我参与的意愿。你会邀请一个人时，只告诉她日子而已？几点还是她自己上网找的。。。什么样的穿着才是恰当的，我没去过法庭啊！。。。。交通呢？我要怎么出席，你有想过要安排吗？明天就是了，我可今天都还是什么也不知道。你真的有希望我的出席吗？你明白这种不受重视的侮辱吗？

就算我知道最后，我一定会后悔，我宁愿后悔，也想保持住我最后的自尊心。

恭喜你

我知道明天是你的大日子. 恭喜你，终于守得云开见月明。这显示了，当初你决定选择法律并没有错，跌跌撞撞，你还是做到了，真替你开心。我知道你等这天，等了很久了，也辛苦很久了， 你的辛劳真的都没有白费，你看到成果了。我替你欣慰。

听说明天，你的亲朋戚友都会当场为你庆祝， 要感激他们不惜拿假， 放下手头上的工作，只为你喝彩，恭贺你。今后，你可要更加加油， 做得更好。

你的父母辛苦了这么多年，可以看到你踏出成功的第一步， 他们一定更加高兴， 要好好孝顺他们。他们可能唠叨，可能不明白你想参加的比赛，好好解释让他们知道有些荣誉， 会让你增加自信心， 让你更有信心与勇气面对以后的种种挑战。

至于我，是，在你没有任何成就前，我就跟你一起了。是我前世修来的福气不够，没有这等荣幸到场为你祝贺，也没能在你成功后，在你身上沾什么光，我只能在世界的另一个角落献上我最深的恭喜。家平，恭喜你了。恭喜你，你的事业更上一层楼了。好好将你的事业，知识，量力而为的回馈社会。记得，没有家，有国又怎样；同样的， 家里没能打理好，就一心只为社会，到头来，你会觉得你什么也不是，就像你回到家，看到缭乱的家里，你会没有归属感的。好好想想吧！

痛苦

我不会把无辜的人卷进你不成熟的举动里。

我不会不代表，你可以在我面前，跟别人为所欲为， 当我是死的。我也是有感觉的。我试问我没有这样不顾你的感受，在你面前，跟别的异性，打闹得不理四周围的眼光。为什么这样的事情你可以不理别人的眼光，可是你却要在他们面前要我跟你保持距离，我知道在朋友面前不需要太靠近，但是需要保持距离到你在东，我在西的程度吗？

你知道我的limit在哪里。。。。所以当我跑开，你会慌张，因为你知道你错了。。。那为什么在你做错前，你不会想想，对我的伤害有多大呢？为什么要伤害我之后，才道歉？一个错，让我痛苦了几天，对，是我想不开，为什么别人犯的错，我的自己承担几天。我以为我能放得下在眼泪几经干枯的情况下，原来我不能。因为你是我相信，我真心爱的人，因为相信，所以难以相信，你会这样。我没有想到的不成熟会到这种地步。

你知道我很伤心，可是你的问候呢？问你，最近电话怎么那么少，你只回答，你很忙。。

可是我却被haunted了几天。我承认我很会压抑，因为我压抑六天了，每天的流泪，却没让我失去理智，也没有表现出来，因为我在朋友家。我已经不知道我该该怎么办了。我已经没有办法了， 我真的帮不到自己了， 我真的被阴影 ‘捉’ 走了，我很想 ‘逃走’ 可是， 我还是失败了。你可有想过要 ’救‘我？刚才你问我我再干嘛，我能说我再 ’失控‘ 吗？

你是道歉了，可是你毕竟做错了，这几天，你做了什么显示你忏悔呢？还是，你岑有想过要做什么弥补吗？有吗？还是你认为，我是咎由自取？活该？

你有空看球，你有空上吉隆坡玩，就没空解决我们的问题，放着不理， 问题会自动解决吗？你认为其他的事情永远比我们的事情来的严重，可是我们已经自焚了，你看见吗?你关心吗？

我们之间有那么多问题了，而你还要去吉隆坡帮别人，你会觉得很讽刺吗？你问为什么要有期限？你认为工作都没有试用期吗？好，你会说感情不是工作，那你认为我还有多少个三年可以任你浪费？

我一直被你的荒谬事情干扰着，你有弥补你的错吗？有吗？为什么六天了，你还是不闻不问？为什么你还是说你忙，还是给一大堆借口？不想弥补，还是不想解决了？

我认识的你，去了哪？

是自己傻！

洞是自己挖的； 人是自己选择要相信的；幸福是自己判断，选择要托付的；所以一切后果都得自负。自己种下的孽，自己得承受。

放不下也是自己活该，不该这么看不开。不该让自己的鼻子被牵着走，喜怒哀乐不该让他都有份参与其中。自己的生活为什么他应该有份参与？自己的人生为什么他 有份干扰？他的不在乎，为什么我得痛苦； 他给的伤害，为什么我不能选择不要承受；为什么他的无知最后受伤的都是我？为什么他常挂在口中最爱的人，是他选择应该自私且伤害的对象？他明知道我有永远 都会留疤的伤口，他选择他就是那位拨开我的伤口再撒盐的人？为什么要让我一蹶不起？！

为什么是他？为什么？为什么是我那么相信的他？

三年多了，信任？不再了。伤口？被掀开了。认识？不再是我认识的他。问题？一辈子也不会解决方法了。反正他也没想过要解决。

我不会说我被你害成怎样了，我只能笑说。。。自己傻

To My so-called Elder Sis

I'm so down, i really don't know what can i do to nurture her and make her to be a better person or at least ensure she is on the right path. Ok, of course the 'wrong path' for me, is maybe a 'right path' for her, but some 'path' obviously will affected others and hurt others. Those kind of 'path' i will treat them as 'wrong path'. Just be it. I had enough, she is really gone too much. I tried my best and so many ways to contact with her with high consideration on her pride. Ok, i know we will not be communicating in normal way or chatting, so i leave an email message for her. who knows she insulting me openly. Ok, i do have pride so i hope since i respect yours, i hope u will do the same to me. However, you did not and you hurt me this far. Ok, i will stop breaking and knocking my brain to find whatever ways out for you. As long as u won't interrupt and hurt both my beloved family members & i , i won't interfere you especially when u do those 'stupid' thingy. Just go do whatever u think is correct and helpful for you. That is your life, not our responsibility to guarantee how your future & current life gonna be. Please do take care, I hope God and Deity can forgive what u have done so far and won't give you up.

Dido - White Flag - Lyrics

Graduate from MMU in year 2010

Finally, i can officially annouce myself as fresh graduate from MMU Melaka. At first, i thought my E auditing will prohibit me from graduating this year. However, i contented enough with what i got for now. Finally, i can continue my life journey to another whole new stage.

FB's parade indicates that some of my coursemate passed with flying colours, some even graduated with 1st class honour. Congrats to those who can graduate in 2010. I love this date. I think u guys too as this is a lucky year for some of us.

Then another journey comprises of working and further studies. I was wondering which professional paper is should go ahead with. ACCA or CPA? At first i thought i have found one. However, question come to me ' can study with my own self / self'discpline? Or i need some indication ( mangkin ) to push me to study table? Before i got this answer to myself, i don't think i can proceed to my selection.

p/s: Congrats again to all of my coursemate who graduate successfully in 2010! Cheers !

生气的人其实很可怜的

记得我曾经写过我与妹妹们的关系。为了弥补以往我们一起西哈的日子，还有想家的感觉，我选择回来麻坡实习。我为了不引起妹妹们跟我的争吵，我尽量躲避，不出声， 就算看见她对妈妈无理，我也视而不见，我讨厌这样的自己。 我恨自己，这么懦弱， 向恶势力低头。可是我能怎样，她看我就是这么不顺眼，我也不能明白。难道我还要开口，跟她说不行这样，她会听吗？还是会跟我大吵，然后妈妈又能怎样，在这种时候妈妈说什么，都是会被指责偏心吧？

可是听了LH的话，她不对了，作为姐姐的不纠正，怎么都说不过去吧！妈妈就算知道我没错，她不开口帮忙说话，我也不会怪她。因为我们都知道她是有不讲道理的，看心情的。

所以， 就算妹妹们之前怎样对待我，我也不计较。（本来以为我这一辈子，都会不理他们）可是在2010年头， 事情有了起色， 小妹为升学烦恼，我知道她不会跟我讨论，所以想当初我为自己做的一样，为她准备升学情报，刚开始，她连看也不看 （因为放在她的位子已经有几天了，却原封不动）当时我真的很灰心，我也想过放弃了。突然，有一天，我发现她贴上note pad拿着升学情报跟父亲讨论。之后，妈妈告诉我， 希望我可以帮忙她，在教育展的事情。 之后，她就开始与我通电话，交谈， 有关升学的事情。直到揭开她对我一直以来的不谅解，原来是误会。直到现在， 她还告诉我她的quiz拿了15/15，恭喜了。小妹要继续加油哦！

大妹的事情就难办了。近期我才发现，原来问题不完全在我身上， 缺乏自信的她，对于身边一些不顺自己意的事都认为是不公平对待，是每个人欠她的。我真不知道要怎样。补缺她认为不公平的事情吗？这也只是短暂的方法，她有个无底洞的要求，永远不会满足。你有的她都得多拿一分，才能至少 ‘安慰’ 她的无底洞。而且还会不厌其烦的要求更多，不，不是要求，是理所当然认为应该就是这样。一点不顺意，她就要向每个人射箭，看谁可以 ‘迎战’ ， 这种时候，解决方法就是不跟她计较， 放宽心看待这件事，她没了弓，就没能放箭了。

以往，我看见她放箭，我都会发镖来 ‘回敬’ 她， 结果都是两败俱伤。今天，我看她准备 ‘放箭’ 的样子，说真的我很同情她。她皱着眉头， 我还没搞懂她怎么了，她就这么烦了。其实蛮可怜的，如果我也 ‘发镖’ ， 不是也一样可怜？所以我只是淡淡回应她， 她知道我这儿没能提供他 ‘射箭’ 的空间，就向弟弟发神经。天啊！疯了吗？什么是安宁，她不明白哦！她是想把家里变得鸡前不宁，她才甘心吗？

我还能怎么解救她她? 我真的无能为力啊！

tik..tok...tik..tok...

I think i just can't just sit down and waiting time passed by as they do...Im so bored...doing nothing meaningful but just staring at my clock...tick...tok...tick...tok....

I just wonder how come HR personnel can change my comencement date as they like by just giving me a call and i was ordered to follow, no place for negotiation. Ok, due to the SHORT NOTICE, i RUN around Malacca to get myself a cosy and clean accommodation immediately. And now, i move in my things d and owner charge me starting by this month, who knows HR personnel ask me to wait for further confirmation from KL office? (What?! i thought they said they just need confirmation from JB office?) Ok, i admit that was not duly their fault, i requested to start working from 2nd week of June as i need time to get myself a accommodation first. (Don't tell me they expect me to work first without accommodation?!)

Suddenly i have 3 more weeks free for nothing. Should i take it as bonus or .....

I think i gonna start planning my 3 weeks holiday...

Phuket Island Trip

i just came back from our (KP & I) 1st international trip - Phuket Island trip with full of satisfaction because it was really a carefree & relaxing trip with spontenous planning go according to our preference and within our agreed budget.

26th May, Patong Lodge Hotel sent taxi to fetch us. So after taking some bites for supper, we have an early rest.

27th May, after contacting with tour guide A, we had our buffet breakfast served by hotel. We met 2 new friends there ( Queenz & Reith), get introduced to a Phuket Island tour guide B. Wow....tour guid A offer 2000 thai baht for town tour and tour guide B offer 700 thai batt...which should i choose then? Obviously.... So i spend 700 thai batt for town tour..we went Karon view point, Kata windmill point, entertainment spot area, elephant trekking, Big Buddha, Wat Chalong, Cashew Nut factory, pearl factory-duty free shop, t-shirt shop, some local delicaci shop....At night thanks to the tour guide B (Mr Sampan) we spend 200 thai baht each for buffet dinner at Royal Paradise Hotel.

28th May, Phi Phi Island tour trip day which cost us 1050 thai baht per pax. The bus took us up at 7am sharp to harbour and we took Sea Cruise 2 to go Phi Phi Island. At first, we went to the top of the cruise, enjoying sea breeze, but we getting regret when the sun 'come join us'. NO choice, Queenz, & i quickly apply sun block non stop until we ensure every inch of body being apply with layers of sun block. We were fetched to an unknown island (i wasn't aware what is the island is that) for snorkelling, at first i was wondering if i should join the group for snorkelling but seeing myself has been suffering seasick for this trip, i know i will continue seasick if i stay on cruise, so i get change and join the snorkelling. To save cost, we didn't sign any package at night, we just stroll around Patong beach, Bangla Road & Junceylon. We went Junceylon for Samurai Pork Burger of McD and Pork Burger of Burger King.

29th May, we spent 1900 thai baht each for Fanta Sea show with dinner buffet. After breakfast, kp & I stroll at Patong beach for sun bath but unfortunately the weather doens't really grant our wish, sky become cloudy and pouring rain after few hours. So we decided to pack up and walked to Junceylon to have our lunch at Fuji Japanese Restaurant. Due to budget constraint, we have to choose our se properly to ensure it is filling and within the budget. After that, we walked back to the Patong beach and continue our shot'ing, playing around on beach. TIme flies, we have to get back to hotel for preparation before 530pm as there will be Fanta Sea's authorised van will pick us up. It was really a grand dining area served international food as well as halal food. As for their costume, i shall describe even a cleaner's uniform is better than ours. They are well trained to serve their tourists hospitality. At around 7.45pm there is a special show to introduce speciality of Thailand. There are stalls in the Fanta Sea play ground yet we buy nothing, we can only window shopping. 'Nice to see, nice to shop, once buying, confirming broke' . The show started at 9pm, our phone camera and camera have to be kept by the counter to prohibit their content of the perfomance been leaking out. The show was amazing, the overall effect was really reach international level, but due to my shallow knowledge on Thailand's history, i wasn't really know what is the story telling us.....BUT i can confirm, the story showed why elephant is considered as holy animal for them.

30th May, wake up ar 430am, checking out at 530am, reach Phuket International Airport at 6am, we reach Malaysia at 11am. Fortunately we manage to hop on the bus to Malacca at 11.30am and we reach Malacca at 1.30pm. After taking lunch, kp & i rushed to Dahlia to check out my room and move all m belonging to new room until 7.30pm. FInally i reach home at 11pm. That is the moment i can really rest my mind, body , receptor BUT not my heart beat.

As for conclusion, bring more money when you go travelling, you will never regret. However, i still enjoy the trip very much as we encounter the hardship together. Although we don't have enough money for trip which force us to go beach, Junceylon, around Phuket area by foot, but we enjoy a lot during the strolling. We still encounter all problems together. It indicates that when we will encounter all types of problems in real life, everything will be all right if we hold our hands together, find the way out and face the challenges together. This is what i realised throughout this journey.

KP, we have come through it. Believe in ourselves, we can still be independent and handle things maturely without family's assistance.