我不想作为人，我只想为这世界出一点点绵力

我明白一段感情，得来不易。缘分靠上天，后天考经营。努力了这么久，问题一直都在。

现在不是我不想挽救或想放弃，只是到了瓶颈，我已经不懂该怎么办了。我有试着种种的沟通方式，放下期待的心情，打开心扉，想要找到出口。可是，事情往往事与愿违，一个人单方面的努力，真的是不够的。刚开始我不明白为什么，每次我想找他商量的时候，他都说‘ 为什么我们要谈，每次谈到问题， 谈到将来， 我们都吵架，不要谈可以吗？很烦啊！’ 我无言， 心想 ‘他这样的反应， 就足以证明我们真的缺少沟通, 也证明了，他很没耐心。所以事情往往都是沉默加另一个冷静期收场，我的心很痛， 而且我也很累了。

久而久之，我也不想谈了。（可能当初他一开始的心态就像我现在的心态一样吧？！）我为什么一个人要把自己困在瓶颈这呢？ 我为什么不把注意力放在需要我的地方呢？我明白了，现在不是时候来谈解决，谈将来， 把注意力放在这样一个没有反应的人，事身上，只会让我更伤，更伤。

结果， 我把注意力，转向我的事业心，多阅读 （希望）， 练习钢琴 （逐步逐步走向我的梦想）， 把CPA考好，准备进入peak period，多参与朋友，存钱给我的车，还有梦想家园。。。。。。

还有，我开始了我的助养儿童计划。我明白，借着这样的理由，开始这样一个计划，不是个很健康的开始，可是我相信，我会好好的不让它半途而废。从开始报名成为助养人，肯定信用卡捐款到助养的儿童资料寄到我家，间中历时两个星期有余。坦白说，我没有把握我会是个很好的助养人， 但是我会尽力。我选择了，中国新疆的小孩。坦白说，我还不习惯像其他人一样， 称小孩为自己孩子般称呼。这小女孩， 有着伊斯兰名字 （我忘了什么名了），是个黝黑，微胖的六岁小女孩， 上有一名哥哥（没记错的话， 不然就是弟弟）， 父母为政府人员 （不明白为什么， 这孩子为什么需要被助养， 到底这组织是怎样筛选有资格被助养的孩子？）可能他们有自己的方式，管他的， 我只想为这世界出一点点绵力。

最后，曾小姐，我祝你生日快乐，你要永远都知道开心的秘诀，远离难过的境界。过去的捉不住，该离开的很难坚持。要记得，只有放开双手, 才能捉到另一样，也才能找到更好的；只有放开双手，才有机会拥抱更美好的将来。加油 : )

Checklist of CPA-Ethics and Governance

Finally, i have tentatively done my studying on

• 5 modules which comprises of around 80 pages each module, except for Module 1 with only 40 pages,
• at least 3 cases per module, that i choose randomly to further my understanding
• Self assessment question (exclude Module 4)

There, i should be starting my 1st revision which i have done Module 1 only so far, more to go but i believe and should ensure myself to finish the revision by this week or even shorter time frame. Checklist towards big day - exam day

• Studying
• At least 1 revision together with FAQ
• Self assessment test
• Workshop notes and slides
• Short notes for memorising
• etc (to be added on if i have more spared time)

Ganbatte ne !

Penang Bridge Marathon #3

continue.......

The event started from 3.45am. When the whistle blowed, all of us started our run, i tried my best and used up stamina for the run. Along the way, i realised many of them were veteren, some of them were auntie. Their stamina wasn't weaker than me because sometimes they really run faster than me i can say. When i almost used up all my stamina, my mind was still 'finish the run within the presribed time', at this time, i saw one of the participants, took pictures of others and the night view. Then i told myself, 'why should i torture myself that much?' Can't i enjoy the run instead of take it as a MUST?

Therefore, these are the photos taken along the way during the run. My SE W595 can't really function like DSLR for night view scenery. so i might skip that night view part.

'4.09am: photo view-approaching to the Penang Bridge'

'Shot at the middle of the Penang Bridge'

'100 plus distribution station each 5km after 5km from starting point'

Of course i did not just taking photo and give up my run. I stop a while for some snap shot, then i continue to run. In facts, the action do help me to re-charge my stamina. I do enjoy the run.

'5.04am: completed half way, going my way back, 10km passed'

'5.34am: My way back - Middle of the Penang Bridge'

Here is when my feet muscle start feeling pain, and also my heart feeling ache and weak, so i slower down my speed and get medical assistance from PBSM-they gave me iced spounge to relief my pain. Thanks to them again! ' For half marathon, 15 km passed and 6km left for half marathon; for full marathon, 17km left'

At first i was thinking of giving up since it was already 6am (i thought the prescribed time is on 7am and i dunno where is the end). Along the way, i met an aunty, she encourage me to get the medal and certificate for finisher runner by saying that i have 1 hour and 15 min more to go. Thanks to her, i get back my encourage and continue my run.

'6.09am: Running down from the Penang Bridge'

'male statue-marathon along the way'

'female statue along the way'

'12km left for full marathon'

'7.00am: Half marathon - 1km left'

Tadaaaa........

' I made it'

p/s: of course there is pain behind the glory, so, im in recovering period as expected!

Penang Bridge Marathon #2

Hey, Im back from Penang Bridge Marathon. As blogged earlier, i took part in women open half marathon (21km). It was really a challenge for me as firstly i never took part in this kind of race before, secondly i was treated as sick kid since young. Most of my friends and relatives as well as parents did not believe that i will take part in this international event. Ok, let's started the race with me.

Date: Sunday, November 22 2009

Starting time: 0330 am (Men) 0345 am (Women)

Reporting Time: 0230 am (Men) 0245 (Women)

Finishing Time: 3.5 hours (Three and a half hours)

Start Location: Queensbay Mall

Closing registration date: October 31st 2009

Entry Fee: RM40.00 (Master / Visa Credit and Debit Cards are welcome)

Distance: 21.0975KM

• D - Half Marathon Men Open (started on 3.30am)
• E - Half Marathon Women Open (started on 3.45am)
• F - Half Marathon Men Junior Veteran (started on 3.30am)
• G - Half Marathon Senior Veteran (not sure what time is it but confirmed is 3.30 or 3.45am)
• H - Half Marathon Women Veteran (started on 3.45am)

'my number'

3 of us (EZ, WM & i) joined the event, we were there since 3am for warm up preparation although our turn will be started on 3.45am. Before this we went to the mobile washroom. Ya is mobile, this is my first time to use mobile toilet i can say. First of all, we have to ensue the chip is tightly tied on our foot to record out timing. So i can say this is an individual race, the medal and cert will be rewarded for those who completed the race within the perscribed time. Therefore, we were told to ensure we step on the map from the beginning until the end of the race.

'Digi logo chip is to record our starting and ending time'

Of course there were a lot of sponsor, like crocs, salonpas, breatheright.......at first i thought the breathright was mainly designed who those who snoring at night, but we were told it can be used for exercising also because it can increased 20% oxygen intake. So we used it.

'the breathright on our nose'

The event started from Queensbay. (to be continued.........)

Any extra information for those who interested to join in the future, kindly see this

向世界前进！

从小就一直在想着成长， 当个大姐姐，能独立担当一切，且照顾家里。总是认为， 这是一件很光荣的事，而且，拥有的自由更是不在话下。中学时期，头脑想的却是大学时期；大学时期， 却向往事业女性的来临。可是当事业女神向我敞开欢迎的手时，我却进而远之。

有者会问，‘你不是一直向往吗？’对，以往我总是向往事业女性的来临，可是，当我发现，这种向往是要付出相当的代价，我就进退两难了。 当事业的光环越是靠近，这也意味着，自由，纯真，无压力，我行我素的影子将离去。

在大学的最后一年，我终于感受到时间正迅速地流逝。突然，我回想起，这20多年来，我到底在哪留下痕迹？是，我羡慕，我真的羡慕。尤其，当某某某告诉我，哪哪哪有多好玩？有好多有趣且新鲜的事与物，我就很想努力地想努力地想象，可是正所谓，‘读万卷书，不如行万里路’。 我再怎么读书，再怎么想象，永远也不会明白那种所谓的喜悦与惊喜。我真的很想感受着世界的奥妙，我当然明白，万里路是用钱来铺盖的，可是，不能行万里路，我也希望，能行几里路吧！走着走着，我就不信我不能行多远。

从此，我会好好安排这一切的。

p/s: 向世界前进吧！

GODIVA - Chocolatier

I always told my friends or whoever around me, i love choco very very much, especially dark chocolate. I prefer less sweet taste choco. You know what, choco is some sort of my medicine. Choco not only can can release my temper, it can also heal my tiredness as well as upset, in other words it make me happier. Furthermore, choco also heal my whatever pain. (Im sure, some of them out there sure say, im bluffing, but it is exactly, obsolutely true especially for those who suffer a lot when 'da yi ma' visiting HER) So, i would like to introduce my choco set with 15 different mixture of choco flavour. ( Thanks AW for your imported choco set! )

Let's go and take a look!

'1st review' (Watch out your saliva)

'Does it look yummy?'

OK, Let's start our choco journey, whoever feel interested, follow me: (left to the right)

First row:

• Toubillon Praline (Milk - Hazelnut praline)
• Coer Noir ( Dark - Dark chocolate Ganache )
• Tourbillon 85 ( Dark - 85% dark chocolate ganache )
• Coeur Blanc ( White - Hazelnut praline )

Second row:

• Lune Passion ( Dark - White chocolate paste with passion fruit )
• Lady Lait ( Milk - Apple and cinnamon chocolate paste )
• Volupte Lait ( Milk - Milk chocolate ganache )
• Lady Noir ( Dark - White chocolate ganache with vanilla from Madagascar )

Third row:

• Volupte 72 (Dark - 72% dark chocolate ganache )
• Perle Amande ( Milk -Roasted almond cream )
• Eclat Feuilletine ( Milk - Hazelnut praline with feuilletine )
• Mosaique Macadamia ( Milk - Roasted caramelized Macadamia nuts and praline )

Last row:

• Moelleux Caramel Cholat ( Dark - Chocolate caramel )
• Signature Blanc Cafe ( White -Coffee flavoured chocolate paste )
• Lingot Noisette ( Hazelnut praline with hazelnut pieces )

So, how? Does your saliva found on the floor from your mouth? Haha......

Yamaha Stagea DDK-7

For your information, the organ type for previous post, played by Mr Leon. The model is Yamaha Stagea DDK-7. Here is the information: Stylish & High Performance STAGEA DDK-7 DDK-7 brings a fresh, stylish look to the STAGEA line-up. The sound and versatility is everything you expect from a STAGEA, but the more compact body is easier for set up and de-assembling.

Features Highlight:- • Expand your creative range with the DDK-7 full size 49-key upper keyboard and 61-key lower keyboard. • Freedom to express yourself utilizing Yamaha’s AWM technology and a 4-layer design, the STAGEA’s cutting-edge tone generator lets you combine instruments in ways that until now have been impossible. Be exposed to a wealth of expressive instruments and sound that fits your every image: 415 voices, 274 rhythms, 288 registrations. • Easy to read LCD puts you in direct control. The 6.5 inch color touch-panel display is touch sensitive and allows you direct access to parameter controls from the screen. • Shares registration data with other STAGEA series instruments*. Your registration data can be stored in a flash memory stick or other external media for use by other STAGEA instruments. • The DDK-7 may not be able to reproduct some ELS-01 features.

The STAGEA DDK-7 is packaged with State-of-the-Art Yamaha powered monitor speaker, MSP5 with matching stand and connection cables.

印象麻坡-40周年摄影公会

I found my dream back....that has been lost for quite some time since when i enter mmu. I really lost track with music. In my memories, i know music is in my heart. but somehow, due to lack of time (someone might say is excuse, yes, i do admit that, all blame to my bad time management).

Yesterday, i went back home for dinner by ‘印象麻坡-40周年摄影公会’, my beloved father is one of the committee in the association. This is also the first time i saw my father in tie and balzer, actually not bad lo, i can say. Then my father told me, actually he feel awkward wearing in this suit. No matter how, He looks really nice that day.

'Dad, i'm proud of you actually!'

At that night, was also the night i found my lost dream back. Ya, indeed. There was a organ performers. In facts, i had been bothered by bad mood throught out that dinner. However, everything change when the organ pianist perform on the stage, he catched all my eye sight and attention. For your information, being a piano or keyboard performer was, no is 'IS' my dream. He played 4 songs in 2 session. When he first play the songs, he turn my mood to joy, the songs start to bring me in my own world. (Ya, i can say, i have been in my dream world since yesterday, and it last till today, at least the moment i write the blog here.)

' He is Leon Law, an instructor of music school'

To be frank, i can feel the touching, i burst our tears (of course not in front of others). Ya , i did get touched by his music. I burst our tears is because finally i found my dreams that i actually long lost it since i enter mmu, from that day onwards, i feel so lost and my life was like empty, and i lost my control over my emotion. Now, i found out why. Why my emotion turn out to be so bad and changing faster than weather almost everyday?!

I used to calm myself down with my piano that i leave it alone for such a long time d. My piano used to be my beloved friend who accompany me whenever im happy or sad. Ya, the piano was my soul. I feel lost when i lost piano enthusiasm.

Reality doesn't suit me at all. I choose to stay inside my music world forever and ever.