Monday, 19 July 2010

学会放下,是我现在所追求的学问

出来社会了,什么事情都不是想象中简单了。。。。几乎,在职场上的人们都是带着面具的。很多事情都是,似懂非懂, 很多事情已经不是想象中简单。有些同事像是朋友,其实他们暗自地里是在大战的。想要在这种你争我抢的社会你,你只能适量且定时的显示你的 ‘愚蠢’ , 才不会被别人当成是盾。
进入了这种社会,面对了这样背叛我的他,我学会装傻,我学会残忍,我学会保护自己,我更学会了教训。所以,什么事情,都别看外表,很多时候,事情并不是表面上看上去的简单;很多时候,残忍是存在的, 这要看你决定自己承受还是。。。。。
背叛和伤害都已经形成,若你会要求原谅,为何不想想在伤害我之前,你可否有犹豫过?有些事情是永远不能被谅解的,有些人是这辈子是不能被原谅的,有些事情是永远也不可能被容忍;有些仇是一定要报的。
学会放下,是我永远都想追求的学问,学会残忍却是我现在其中一个主科。。。
要是有一天,你在路上我没认出你,又或者你每第一时间认出我,别惊讶,因为我也不懂当时的我,会变成怎样。。。。

Saturday, 17 July 2010

加班的生活

自从一开始工作,我的生活就只有加班了。星期六也要工作。。。
我也只有四个字来形容。。。。
‘ 筋疲力尽 , 惨不忍睹 ’

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

EY 3rd Day

This is my third day, and im still sick, thought im getting better without going to see any doctor, i can't sick now i know. I have only 1 week training week to be charged to admin cost, my time will be charge to client next week onwards. I can fel the stress coming towards me.
Finally i manage to remember my access card password, but still cant remember what is the password of photostate machine, so i try to avoid using that.
It was really a HUGE difference comparing this week and last week. I was tend to online until 3 or 4am, and slept until 12 or 1pm, now, i slept at 11 something every night, wake up at 7am. The only similar thing is still TIRED. Last week, i was so boring until tired; this week i am busy until tired.
It was quite a big difference scope from audit dept to tax dept. At first, i think i have better idea on how to start and complete a audit file as compared to tax. When i refering to audit working paper either softcopy or hardcopy, i know i have same level of idea on both audit and tax.....I wonder what i have learn for 6 months intern... is it because STML?
Everyday time flies, really. Today, i left the firm at 7.30pm, i get a change and have a quick dinner. When i done my bathing, it was already 9.45pm, i was so exhausted, what else can i do? study? haha, i don't think so. I wonder how is the life for those who work until 12am....?? i can't even dare to imagine that day to come.
So, i would say, i am the 'wealthiest' during my uni life, at least i have enough time for study (not during final), shopping, yum cha, outing with friends, curiculum activities and so on. Now, working itself already exhaust me. If u ask me to choose again, i don't know am i having a wise decision, but i know, in term of work life balance wise, i will still choose tax for the time being.
p/s: i would like to thank Chin, Shan, Fong. Thanks for assist me this far....

Monday, 21 June 2010

First Permanent Job Report

First day work, first day of period of the month, first time fever and flu after this 2 months.......
I have ready myself to be in this kind of hectic life, just that i never imagine i will get sick this fast. First day only, even though i get myself mentally prepared, my physically drag me down, put me in fantasy of drowsiness over the medicine. I wonder why should fate arrange all these challenges for me when i swear to get all over again, stand up on my own. Why can't fate at least give me a hand, no, can just stop all those 'cruel thingy'.
Let's talk about my first day work, i get myself be ready and leave home at around 8.10am, although the distance will only take me around 5 min for 8.30am work. Then i was led by hr personnel to my seat and day dreaming start in the early morning. After that, i met one of my MMU coursemate, M, she is reporting her first day too, just like me. Both of us were told to familiar around and open up a new account at HXXX Bank, and this took us 2 hours plus, just because of temporary residence address stuff....Gosh.....this really pissed off our hr manager. Of course this problem solved at the end, luckily we don't need to have second visit.
After lunch, every hectic briefing starts, password itself already took me half an hour to register, all kinds of features, term and condition and length (not too long and to short, must be exact the number required, cham.....!!!) The HR personnel brief us, about the claim, selected rules and regulation, timesheet stuff, deadlines, professional examination stuff and a lot more. During the briefing, HR managr pop in and tell us that we won't have 2 weeks training like other new comers, this is because it is SUPER PEAK period, she expects us to get into work by next week onwards with less mistake. I wonder can i make it and after the briefing I wonder how much left in my memory usage (30% or 10%) I wonder but i hope i can remember every each of the one which i should at times.
Finally, clock tik tok...tik tok....until the moment i have been waiting, 5,15pm, count down 15 min to get out of the place and get some rest (have been sneezing & drowsying for the whole day long)...The moment i have been waiting come after i have been assigned one file.
Things to be done by this week/month:
  1. Medical checkup
  2. KWSP registration
  3. WBL (Web Based Learning) (Month)
  4. Genuine result transcript
  5. Graduation registration thingy (month)
  6. 1 week training
  7. Timesheet
p/s: KP, thanks for your assistance on some workload. For those who are getting into working life, please make sure you have well prepared yourself with medical checkup report, KWSP registration, new bank account registration (if new bank required) and genuine result transcript. (all required letter can be requested from HR personnel) before start working. Wish you luck !!!

Friday, 18 June 2010

互相尊重是感情的元素之一

我不知道我的决定,会不会让我后悔。 我只知道,我真的,忍受到了极点,容忍到了极点。我也有自尊心,你不会尊重我,我就起码还能选择尊重我自己。这几天,只是该不该出席的问题,已经烦恼了我很多天了,如今我看开了许多。‘那是你的问题,不是我的
你应该还记得,我说过的话,在这个世界上,有太多所谓的 ‘坏人’ 在我的生命中,虽然我没有反抗的能力,可是我至少还有保护自己的权利,我的方法没有改变过,痛过了,血流过了,我会选择离开。我没能像你们一样有心计,会玩伤害。对我来说,所谓朋友是用心交的,更何况是另一半,我从来没有把感情当赌注,当儿戏,我是认真的。你的不成熟,我选择用心等待,用心灌溉,我们一起成长,一起学习,我没关系。可是,你是否有那么一秒在伤害我之前,为我着想, 我会怎么样?还是,只要好玩就行了,享受当下,后果是不在考虑范围其中?好,就算是,你无心的, 事后可有想过好好解释,好好道歉。我知道我很生气,所以我选择离开,冷静了几天,我回来要求解释,道歉,你承认你错了。可我不认为你有反悔之意,不然你也不会说,‘对不起,。。。。满意了吗?’
当时我宁愿你没道歉。我选了冷静的几天,你完全不闻不问,当那件事没有发生过,我的心意完全被践踏了,可我还是选择相信, 你有苦衷,回来想问个明白,却得了一个,‘满意吗?’
若你认为你没有错,为什么认错?要是你认为你真的错了,你应该这样回答吗?
对不起,我有我的自尊心, 我选择不去参与你的盛会,我没有办法笑着面对你,还有你所有的亲戚。与其,带着一张面具让你难堪。 与其,忍辱恭喜你,我选择维持我的自尊, 默默为你献上祝福就好。
因为有始至终,我没有看到你希望我参与的意愿。你会邀请一个人时,只告诉她日子而已?几点还是她自己上网找的。。。什么样的穿着才是恰当的,我没去过法庭啊!。。。。交通呢?我要怎么出席,你有想过要安排吗?明天就是了,我可今天都还是什么也不知道。你真的有希望我的出席吗?你明白这种不受重视的侮辱吗?
就算我知道最后,我一定会后悔,我宁愿后悔,也想保持住我最后的自尊心。

Thursday, 17 June 2010

恭喜你

我知道明天是你的大日子. 恭喜你,终于守得云开见月明。这显示了,当初你决定选择法律并没有错,跌跌撞撞,你还是做到了,真替你开心。我知道你等这天,等了很久了,也辛苦很久了, 你的辛劳真的都没有白费,你看到成果了。我替你欣慰。
听说明天,你的亲朋戚友都会当场为你庆祝, 要感激他们不惜拿假, 放下手头上的工作,只为你喝彩,恭贺你。今后,你可要更加加油, 做得更好。
你的父母辛苦了这么多年,可以看到你踏出成功的第一步, 他们一定更加高兴, 要好好孝顺他们。他们可能唠叨,可能不明白你想参加的比赛,好好解释让他们知道有些荣誉, 会让你增加自信心, 让你更有信心与勇气面对以后的种种挑战。
至于我,是,在你没有任何成就前,我就跟你一起了。是我前世修来的福气不够,没有这等荣幸到场为你祝贺,也没能在你成功后,在你身上沾什么光,我只能在世界的另一个角落献上我最深的恭喜。家平,恭喜你了。恭喜你,你的事业更上一层楼了。好好将你的事业,知识,量力而为的回馈社会。记得,没有家,有国又怎样;同样的, 家里没能打理好,就一心只为社会,到头来,你会觉得你什么也不是,就像你回到家,看到缭乱的家里,你会没有归属感的。好好想想吧!

痛苦

我不会把无辜的人卷进你不成熟的举动里。
我不会不代表,你可以在我面前,跟别人为所欲为, 当我是死的。我也是有感觉的。我试问我没有这样不顾你的感受,在你面前,跟别的异性,打闹得不理四周围的眼光。为什么这样的事情你可以不理别人的眼光,可是你却要在他们面前要我跟你保持距离,我知道在朋友面前不需要太靠近,但是需要保持距离到你在东,我在西的程度吗?
你知道我的limit在哪里。。。。所以当我跑开,你会慌张,因为你知道你错了。。。那为什么在你做错前,你不会想想,对我的伤害有多大呢?为什么要伤害我之后,才道歉?一个错,让我痛苦了几天,对,是我想不开,为什么别人犯的错,我的自己承担几天。我以为我能放得下在眼泪几经干枯的情况下,原来我不能。因为你是我相信,我真心爱的人,因为相信,所以难以相信,你会这样。我没有想到的不成熟会到这种地步。
你知道我很伤心,可是你的问候呢?问你,最近电话怎么那么少,你只回答,你很忙。。
可是我却被haunted了几天。我承认我很会压抑,因为我压抑六天了,每天的流泪,却没让我失去理智,也没有表现出来,因为我在朋友家。我已经不知道我该该怎么办了。我已经没有办法了, 我真的帮不到自己了, 我真的被阴影 ‘捉’ 走了,我很想 ‘逃走’ 可是, 我还是失败了。你可有想过要 ’救‘我?刚才你问我我再干嘛,我能说我再 ’失控‘ 吗?
你是道歉了,可是你毕竟做错了,这几天,你做了什么显示你忏悔呢?还是,你岑有想过要做什么弥补吗?有吗?还是你认为,我是咎由自取?活该?
你有空看球,你有空上吉隆坡玩,就没空解决我们的问题,放着不理, 问题会自动解决吗?你认为其他的事情永远比我们的事情来的严重,可是我们已经自焚了,你看见吗?你关心吗?
我们之间有那么多问题了,而你还要去吉隆坡帮别人,你会觉得很讽刺吗?你问为什么要有期限?你认为工作都没有试用期吗?好,你会说感情不是工作,那你认为我还有多少个三年可以任你浪费?
我一直被你的荒谬事情干扰着,你有弥补你的错吗?有吗?为什么六天了,你还是不闻不问?为什么你还是说你忙,还是给一大堆借口?不想弥补,还是不想解决了?
我认识的你,去了哪?