Horror Weekend

i stay back this weekend. but i think this is a very terrible weekend. firstly i thought he is going to his friend's party, wonder i can let him attend it alone, after a thought, i realized that it is suffer to attend friend's party alone, so i stay back i don't really want him to be alone there. meanwhile i stay back also because of he hope i can stay back, saying that he has surprise for me. ok, since that i choose this weekend to stay back instead of next weekend. however, out of my expectation, his friend's party cancelled suddenly without informing us. wt.....i just can't imagine how irresponsible his friend is. so to make my stay back weekend more meaningful, i hope for his surprise. but......still there is nothing special, lunch->friend's present->back ixora->dinner->my brother's present->back to ixora erm........this is the surprise he mention/he wanna give me and saying that either this weekend or next weekend? at night, i received sis's call asking me a question that i cant forget for the rest of my life. 'sis, why u did not come back home?' something has happen my family all needs me but i stay back all because of him.....is it worth? why i so foolish, i neglect my family yet i choose to accompany someone that don't really need me, why i become so irrational? why i so stupid? although the thinking of asking me going back i just ignore it irrationally. because of him, i am not i am anymore. i am not the used i am anymore. can i decide on my own life without listen to him? can he become more muture, i just cant take care of 'a child' anymore. is torturing....terrible........suffering...........