Happy Anniversary

Today is our special day. Our one year anniversary. we were together last year 11/12/2006. this date is also my younger brother's birthday. from that day onwards, we will never be forget this special and meaningful date for us.

Today he act nothing and foolish seems like he is too busy till he has forget our anniversary. In the evening, we went out at about 8.15pm. We reached 'Sampan' , a very romantic cafe, near Klebang beach. this is the place where he has booked last week. he purposely booked a place near beach and nice view with a decor 'Merry X'mas' in front of me. i feel so happiness, seem like 2 festival celebrate together. the seat is under a shield. we have sizzling chichen chop with black pepper and mushroom flavour, large orange juice and Terriyaki. it is so sweet for 2 of us. he seem so familiar with the people in charge there. the waiters there will keep smiling at him.

after we finish the dinner, he excuse himself, after a while i saw him with a banquet of flowers with a bear in front. when i still stunged there, a heart shape cake served by the waiter is placed in front of me, and then he say 'Happy Anniversary, darling'...........i was like......what happen?!!!so sudden...!!!! i stare at the cake, written there ' Happy Anniversary P N KP', and the tears bursting out, i was too surprised what he did to me. he told me he was too busy with the cake and flowers after work, that's why he went back late. i was so touching. Last time his friends told me he is not romantic type person, but he did all these because i love romantic stuff. then we share our cake with the waiters at Sampan, he said he want others get into happiness too. i asked ' how about people did not cherish it? he said, nevermind, at least there is still exist the antz.....haha,i think he is too happiness.


in the car, he show me his planning schedule, firstly he decorate his room with full of love decor, then booked the seat, the flowers, the cake, the budget blablablablabla.........whole page of A3 size for 2 days planning, i noticed one of his plan is to bring me to seremban to shop but fail because he can't take leave. this showed how he concern about our anniversary, our relationship. he looked so tired, all because of he has to plan all these things, stress with legal attachment work, not enough sleep.......

sorry and thanks kia ping. Thanks for your concern, your love, your sentimental, your caring, your attention, your effort, your everything.

Enchanted (2007) film

I love this movie very much, it can fulfill my imagination and suits my character. i was once living in fairytale's life, no reality, no facts, all imagination and dreams (of course not 'daydream' like someone la) . until the fay i step into mmu, i experienced all reality stuff. it was so cruel for me, i never think that this s how the world cruel. some more there are many of them telling me that there is out there more cruel thing in the future. i hate this cruel world.

And she is the characteristics i admired the most. and this is the only movie i watch second times. first time with him, and second time i watched with linhui, huiyin, yun qing and hsien ming. this is the first time i watched movie with friends after i came mmu and after im in a relationship. the feel is totally different, i feel more relieve, more dependent, more aware to the environment. i laugh loud as i can as i want, don't even think twice. unlike last time, i just cant be myself. i want to laugh, i want to show how happy i am, i just cant because he is by my side, although i know i just need to be by myself but i really wonder why i fail to do so.

Ah.....this is the feel with friends that i lost for almost one year. i love the songs she ag in the movie, it was just like im in the other world where full of fairytales and no reality. is this place exist? i just love this movie, it will bring me whenever i want to go that i cant in reality, where i want to be myself, i want to be alone.......where i hope to stay forever in....

Horror Weekend

i stay back this weekend. but i think this is a very terrible weekend. firstly i thought he is going to his friend's party, wonder i can let him attend it alone, after a thought, i realized that it is suffer to attend friend's party alone, so i stay back i don't really want him to be alone there. meanwhile i stay back also because of he hope i can stay back, saying that he has surprise for me. ok, since that i choose this weekend to stay back instead of next weekend. however, out of my expectation, his friend's party cancelled suddenly without informing us. wt.....i just can't imagine how irresponsible his friend is. so to make my stay back weekend more meaningful, i hope for his surprise. but......still there is nothing special, lunch->friend's present->back ixora->dinner->my brother's present->back to ixora erm........this is the surprise he mention/he wanna give me and saying that either this weekend or next weekend? at night, i received sis's call asking me a question that i cant forget for the rest of my life. 'sis, why u did not come back home?' something has happen my family all needs me but i stay back all because of him.....is it worth? why i so foolish, i neglect my family yet i choose to accompany someone that don't really need me, why i become so irrational? why i so stupid? although the thinking of asking me going back i just ignore it irrationally. because of him, i am not i am anymore. i am not the used i am anymore. can i decide on my own life without listen to him? can he become more muture, i just cant take care of 'a child' anymore. is torturing....terrible........suffering...........

Heartbreak

what kind of girls you prefer actually? have the appearance of beautiful or cute one? can speak english well? well dressing everyday? can cook well? i know i have none from above. as for appearance i admit not either one, english speaking-i can say it was like 'OMG' i am from chinese education family, im trying hard to learn also. well dressing-although im not really like to, but at least when i have date with you, i will dress up myself. as for cooking, i am learning from my mum whenever i go back to my hometown, i will assist my mum to cook, im learning how to cook, for what? for myself? just because of someone praise my cooking when i first cook a chicken burger with egg, when that person compliment my cooking and finish up what i cook , although i know not as delicious as Mcd's but it did increase my confidence to learn cooking. why i choose to go back hometown after 10am every friday, firstly because i miss my family. secondly, because my mum did not cook on saturday and sunday, so friday's dinner is the only time for me to learn cooking. Now, what i did all these things are seem like a waste. that person wont cherish at all. He hope i will accompany him this weekend, i lie to my parent i wont go back this weekend due to the heavy assignment,but the only reason is i want to accompany him since i have go back almost every weekend. i try to finish up all my assignments and homework, and spend our time during this weekend. A moment before, i just realized that im really heartless towards my parents, i shouldn't lie to my parents for him, i shouldn't.....!!!!! im so sorry, daddy, mummy. please give me a big slap to wake me up, please....please.....(since you can't do it now, i will do on behalf of u both) why u make me feel so guilty? i don't know how to cook now, but i will learn. i will still cook for you in the future. why u let me know u are envy others? dun compare, my heart is pain when i know why other can cook for their bf but i can't. u always bringing a book during our date. when i talk to u , u choose to talk with your book, whenever im not with you, you choose to play game. can i describe u as hardworking or take our date as ur study time? Am i really disturb your precious time? please dun ever make me feel guilty by saying all kinds of accuses again!!! please.....this is enough for me.

BBQ's day

Today i was told all cos committees have to join cos bbq. so, i stay back, i did not go back hometown. They told me 6pm. I was there at 6.03pm, but i did not see anyone, first i thought i have late or wrong place. Then i saw some of them came. to my direction. About 6.30pm,only few of them.......about 6.45pm they are coming all the way....WHAT?! I THOUGHT IS 6PM???!!! Kp's friend came and teasing me, saying all those bad words about us. i have ady moody and this make thing worst. i can say im not so familiar with cos members, i have nothing to say to them. i was alone but it doesn't mean i am there to been bullied. I feel so sad, i decided to skip bbq and go lepak to spr. i ventured all my moody things to linhui, she console me a lot. Suddenly a guy came in with a one year old baby in hand, then they told me that is his baby? what?! so surprising.......the baby was so cute but someone said no. i also wonder why, maybe he/she don't really like baby. The baby sat on my lap and imitate his daddy's action and sound. Haha....so cute. This baby names Samual. He knows how to control mouse and strolled down the screen page. Omg!!!!! What has really happen? He is so genius. haha.....

我们的感情真是如此坚固，能顺利渡过低潮？

试问那些成功踏上红地毯的夫妻们，在他们决定与身边的异性过下半辈子之前，是否都有度过想过要分手的时期？会这样吗？这是正常的吗？只是低潮期吗？是考验吗？是否有些经不起考验的情侣们，因此各奔东西？ ‘情人眼里出西施’ 这句话，显示了情侣间爱意已经达到了那种只看见对方的好，却无视对方的缺点。可是，往往那些缺点偏偏成为他们分手的主要原因。是爱蒙蔽了清澈的双眼吧！但是又有谁能在爱情的深渊里，很理智的判断每一件与对方有关的事情呢？是否是那些刚开始，还没完全跌进爱情深渊里的情侣才能办得到吧？！我也相信那些已经经历了多少风风雨雨，最后成功在一起的情侣也能明白吧！但是，还有多少经历不起爱情风雨的爱情，还来不及踏上红地毯，以分手为结局的情侣呢？我的感情又是那一种呢？ 要是对感情都已经不相信了，对方对你的漠视已觉得心酸，看透了呢？还有挽救的余地吗？还有，在你最需要对方的陪伴时，他。。。不知又在哪儿的呢？在心理最受伤的时候，要是你已向他伸出求救之手，而他选择漠视时，会是怎样的伤害呢？旧伤口，加上盐，是何等的痛？ 情侣间不止要有信任，最重要的还是尊敬。千万别一时疏忽而无视对方的尊严，这是对对方的一种不重视，不尊敬的表现。还有，就算有了男朋友，也别冷落了身边的朋友，因为很多时候，我们需要的不是男朋友，而是朋友。 KP，我们的感情真是如此坚固，能顺利渡过低潮？

Granpa, rest in peace

How is the feel when you are looking at doctors are emergency rescue your closed relative, like grandpa? Imagine the machine that checking his pulse was beside him. The doctors looked so uneasy, grandpa still don't have any response. Although we are not allowed to look at them, but i peeped. i know what is the worst outcome. i just hope miracle can come, but after that my grandpa did not wake up since that. i can't really know who am i d? people ask me, who is he inside the room? I can't really answer, at the same time i don't know what should i do now? All iin my mind just hoping that this scene shouldn't happen in my mind, maybe im still sleeping....i haven't wake up. my mum keep calling me, when i go fetch them, the scene i saw is.......everyone was crying sadly. The first question in my mind is 'a-gong, why u sleep without pillow? you will get hurt one, the neck will sprained. My mind is all blank, don't what has happen in few minutes. Untill now i haven't accept the truth he has leave us. My only regret is 'grandpa haven't look at me nicely before he leave'. i was with him in the afternoon but he can't open his eyes ady. He just calling my name. It seems like he has things to talk to me, just that his words are so blur i really can't understand, until today i also dunno and i know i won't get answer forever. Even when he is sleeping in the coffin, i still can't accept his leaving. I wil still hope that he can open his eyes look at me. Last time newspaper did say some people might come to live although they are died. But the miracle won't happen. It disappoited me twice, my grandpa did not come alive. How's my grandpa's life now? I hope that no one will bully him, and he has friends acompany him aside.