Emotion negatively

Recently i wonder, realized and commented from friends that my emotion getting more negatively.

Recently i get annoyed easily by some certain so called 'friends' that i used to treat them as real friends. However, i am getting more unbelievable why are they doing now? Am i look like im a fool? or they never take me as friend?

Senario 1 I invited a friend for lunch that day that i used to eat with her but less for this semester as this is a short semester and all bunch of thing was like so packed till i fail to get her for meal. That day, i manage to get her for lunch. Surprisingly, once she met me, she asked me 'how come u have time have lunch with me?' What u guys think? is normal right? ok, that's what i think also. Then move on, after i answered her, i was too busy for this semester, then usually friend will getting 'paiseh' and answer ' no la, ask u for fun la' like that....that she did not. She said, ' are u that busy until u dun need to eat?' i was stung there.....i so regret to invite her for lunch. im so so so regret, i should have tapao my lunch and eat in front of lapiee. When she saw me holding a note: She: you have exam tonight? I : no, is tomorrow. She: last minute study? I : ........ She: no need study one la, accounting subject all very easy one, just write in whatever u think is correct. I : ........ She: unlike my subject, so tough have to study like hell..... I : but i remember ur exam is 50% objective and 50% essay right? She: no, is not only objective but true false, you know what, true and false lagi tough!!! I : ........( true and false stand 50% to get correct, but objective stand 25% to get correct , essay stand less chance to get the key words, i dun really understand what she meant it)

Then there goes my lunch......

Senario 2 I wonder what happen to me, am i that so not convincing in certain point? Why i face the problem that whenever i voice out any comment, there will be like ignored by some of them? Am i that unreliable for them? I believe i should keep myself silent at that time, no point for me to listen carefully and voice out my opinionl i might just listen and write down whatever outcome decided. In this case, i not blaming anyone, but myself for being lack of confidence. When a person ignore my opinion and voiced out theirs one loudly, i will never want to shout out louder than them to express my opnion AGAIN. For me, loud doesn't mean you are right or you have confience. Not that you should say softly or what but at least dun shout till people 'shh' you, right? In that incident iwill choose to silent myself to avoid any argument. Ended up, i ignore the quality of the discussion but i just focus on when can we end this discussion.

In this 2 scenerio, what u guys will do? Just ignore and never put yourself in such situation? For me, i have been agitated for few days, i admit im a bit irrational and too emotional or someone may accuse that im too stupid or what. However, im now getting better as im letting them go, in my conclusion, that is nothing to do with me, why should i care for them? who are they to me?

Singapore Trip

6 more hours i will be on the bus headed to Singapore. To be frank, this is my second time traveling to Singapore if not mistaken. In my memories, last time i went Singapore, i was 7 years old. Meaning to say i have been 'left out' for 15 years.....haiz......

Remember my last few blog mentioned about my eagerness to travel before im graduated.....there....this is my first step to fulfill my dreams and wishes. To be frank, im quite looking forward for this trip, with no hope inside. I just dream of enjoying the Christmas scene at Orchard Road because i heard there will be some decoration for Christmas. In facts, i love x'mas day.

For me, celebrating x'mas day ( also called Winter Festival) is one of the romantic day. Why? Because in my dream....X'mas day is full of snow, flying snow in the air, i can wear boots, scarf, fashion jackets and build the snowman. A while more, a lot of children will come out, help me decorate the snowman and play with the snowman. Then when the weather become colder we can hide inside the house lighting up the fire, sit beside the x'mas tree and listen to x'mas story. Before i sleep, i will dream of santa clause gift me a present (see, im not so tamak, one present will do) coz i heard santa clause will only gift the present for obedient child (im sure LH wont get the present)

Eh, out of topic d...should be Singapore trip but not x'mas day...Haha....

Anyway, i will try to update about my Singapore Trip when im bac later. This trip is only a 2 days trip, meaning to say i will be back on Sunday. What are the surprise awaits me in this trip? Im really looking forward for this trip. At least i fulfil one of my dream before x'mas. This will be the earliest x'mas present i had for this year 2008.

Smiling Moon

This is the 'smiling moon' occured yesterday. i was so surprised having this kind of fortune to enjoy this scene. The smiling mouth is the moon and the eyes are stars. According to YQ, this phenomenon called 'stellar phenomenon" was caused by Venus, Jupiter and a three-day-old crescent moon aligning at the right spots to form the Smiley. In other word, if anyone of you missed it last night. Congrats, you will have to wait another 5 years before smiley appears in the night sky again!!! Thanks to YQ, if not, i might have to wait for another 5 years also. Since moon also smiled at us, why we cant smile everyday and face the challenges? Right?!

Study can be in relaxing way!!!

What is life? I admit im a girl who enjoy life especially carefree, stress less life and need a lot a lot a lot of care and love. In facts i enjoy having my studying and reading at cafe or whatever cafe that provides comfort environment and soft music. Recently, i enjoy having my reading at 'FRIENDS CAFE' a cafe situated at Melaka Raya, right beside the SIN CHEW JI POH building. I went there twice but i don't really enjoy that much that 2 times. First time was right after my midterm (don't know which semester d, maybe last semester) i went upstairs, having my fish and chips for supper. Unfortunately, the tv showed 'ALIENS AND PREDATORS'. @#$%^&*#$%^, sumore very noisy as eveyone they like pasar malam like that, talk and laugh also as loud as they can, having no appetite worrying my midterm, sumore showed all those disgusting pictures. OMG!!! Next time was last Friday, this time i become clever d. I choose downstairs, listen to soft music, romantically and order don (a kind of Japanese rice, as i dislike goreng thing d). Not bad, i enjoy the food, it taste good for me. While waiting for the arrival of food, i choose to take out my case study and check for dictionary (i need dictionary to have better understanding for the whole concept). I feel so relax. When im relaxing, i will worry of my studies, now i have it all done together. I feel like im a happy baby. Although that is Friday evening, i don't think much people will choose to stay at cafe but shopping i think. For me, i wont choose shopping at Melaka Raya during weekends, as you know why? First, sure jam. Secondly, parking fees all counts at least RM1 for each hour. Thirdly, you will hardly get a car park. Forthly, you have to queue up even though you are giving out money. NO, i wont. So i planned to spend my whole Friday evening till 11pm. The prices is quite reasonable for me as i never thought of any saving money by the time i enter this cafe. Don cost me RM 10 and Ice jasmine cost me RM 7, totally up less than RM20 and i can enjoy life here, so is somehow i can say is worth it. However, really.....happy thing end earlier, when bf get an urgent call from his dude-accident and admitted hospital. Don misunderstand me, is the motorist admitted not his dude. However, we spend the whole evening rushing here and there. Haiz......i swear i wanna go there again without any disturbance.!!!

Will you mind?

When it comes to relationship, no matter how generous is the guy or girl, they will straight become very particular. Will u girls allow your bf be bestman for the brides and groom? At first, ok ya. Why not? However, since young i was told bestman and bridesmaid are the treated as like 'couple'. Will you mind if they been 'coupled' up on that day, take photos together, work together and at the same time, you might be neglected? If you have second thought, then reject the suggestion. you might be regret later. Being a bestman, he is important for that day as it was the most important day for groom and bride. Their existence is to beautify the wedding day only, nothing special, even a small kid can do their job well. However, have you ever think of if it might affect your relationship? If yes, then not a small problem d.

Last Few Traveling Opportunities

4 more semester to go before my graduation. Anyway there is 2 semester for me to have industrial training. meaning to say i have only the most 1 or 2 semester break for me to go for traveling. I used to stay alone at home without going anywhere. However, after my best friend, LY awake me by telling me that she is now currently starting her working life, she has to take emergency leave or medical leave just to go for another interview. Taking leave for her is totally difficult， how about traveling leave? She remind me to have use up wisely during uni life. I mention this issues to KP after his legal attachment. He agreed but he ended up having another so called 'holiday work' during our semester break. I am so so so......disappointed. Even though im in deepest depression, i still booked his next semester break. Out of expectation, he gone for another 'holiday work' by saying that he met a very potential lawyer to be learn with and already make promises with him. At that moment, the sentence 'what is your promise to me?' occur in my mind. i don't think you guys really understand how i feel at that moment and i don't really know what are words to describe my disapointment besides 4 letter words. I have been blaming myself being so childish to believe in him, ended up i wiped off my tears and find some ways to prohibit myself from having any hopes traveling with him. What i did was, i look for 'holiday work' also at hometown and i promised i will have 'holiday work' for the subsequent semester break. I have been cheated twice, should i awaiting for another arrival of disappointment? im really scare of awaiting and the arrival of disappointment d. Of course i will still continue my traveling to anywhere i can but my trip will 'disqualified' his presence. p/s: can i really rely and believe in you?

Girls' Talk

I always wonder why there is existence of girls' talk? Is it because of the talk are only occur between girls without guys? What are the discussing topic that can only exist between girls but no guys allowed? Yesterday, i was having a dinner with girl friend who already not available. When we meet up for dinner, there starts out girls' talk. only that i know gals are really very royal to her loved one, especially for their first love. She has been a bit hesitated whether getting stable down with first love is fair to both of them. Her love story started with a word called 'admire'. She admire him with all the skills he possessed that she desired to acquired. This is her first love, everything goes on smoothly as she thought love is like this. She received whatever happiness and sorrowfulness from him. Although he did betrayed to her and they always quarrel, due to the depth of their love, she believe their love will blossom one day. However, i was so surprised when she told me something that i don't think she will have this kind of thought. She told me, she realized she has been collapsed for don't know how many times since she is with him. She told me when she is single, she can forbid herself from collapsed for the most one year but this loved one have been torn her heart apart. She said if she can go back to that moment, maybe she won't make herself be tied up in this relationship. Although the bf allowed her to go out freely even though with guys, but she said she seldom hang out with guys as she don;t really like the idea her bf hang out with gals or gal. Like i said, gals are selfish only when the case happen on their loved one. Nobody want 'incident' interfere in their relationship, includes their own friends and any possibility. She has the problem on believing her bf since he deliberately lie to her and ambiguous with another gal. In Chinese, quotes '一次被蛇咬， 十年怕草惊', im totally agree with this quote, i really believe when a guy is truly sincere to you, he will be royal to you since that day you are together. If the guy give you whatever promises to you but in the other way round he was ambiguous with other gals, what is that mean actually. Imagine, what is the mean when a little boy only choose to play with particular little girl? Can we said that actually there is some chemical reaction called 'like/love' occur inside that little boy? I believe when a boy prefer or like a particular little girl, he will purposely go and disturn the girl and play with her. This is so obvious and normal scene in kindergarden as these are their innocence. Although some said they will accept someone who turn over a new leaf, and they will treat it as precious but is it really guarantee anything? Who can say guys never love beautiful girls? Which guy can really stop himself to leave any single second of eye sight on pretty girls? That is their nature. God creates them in this nature. They are born in this nature, nobody can really avoid this destiny i can say. p/s: who can we trust besides parents and ownself?