My Beloved Father

what is daddy in ur heart? there is only a song name ' mummy is the best' have u ever thought that, father and mummy put together will be even best? when i was a childish child, i believe what the song sang. i always think that daddy not that important compared to mummy. sumore daddy is so strict, not like mummy , treat us like precious, take good care of us, love us, listen to us. daddy used to keep silence to whatever we make. in my mind, daddy will always like a shadow. we never know what is he really look like..... untill i was 18 years old, i was selected to participate in nasional service, that was the first year, so i can say those chosen are treated like guinue pig. once i know i get selected, i cried badly. it's even worst when i told my mum, she reply ' why did u lie to me? is not fun k?' i was stung there, see, even my mum dun believe i was selected. at that time , chinese was about 20% and gals stand less than half. i was so 'unluckily' to be chosen. however for now i can say it is not as 'unluckily' as i said before. i have to keep it back. due to this incident, i understand my father more and more. i began understand him deeply, love him deeply. i can say my luggage are all prepared by my parents, i really reluctant to go there. so i din prepare anything. father knows that i love chocolate, he prepare 'tango' for me, saying that this kind of choco not easily melt, i can keep it, whenever i wanna eat , i can eat. he prepare a lot of things for me. even my mum admit she is not as elaborate as father. mum say he is the one who worry me the most, he did try a lot of ways to stop me from join ns. he willing to pay RM3000 as it stated as a penalty for those who ecsape from it. he said if he paid this money then i can prohibited from going to the camp, he most willing to pay this sum. besides,i havent leave home for even one day since i was born, so, i lied that i have theory lesson every saturday, so that i can go back home,even though it is only one and a half hour journey, daddy asked many people for the route to come KEM NASUHA to fetch me every saturday at 1pm then fetch me back again at 6pm. although there is only 5 hours and half of them is on the way back. sumore my father still have his business but he wont mind, he just hope that i can go back home. he wont mind sending me here and there. every sunday he will defintely come and visit me, everytimes he and mummy will bring a lot of food for me. all my favourite. i know i used to like outside food and fast food like kfc, mcdonald a lot. but i realized when i entered the ns, i missed home cooking very much, i dun wan any outside food, even home porridge is enough for me. To visit me and send me, he sent his car to service for how many times d. i accidentally saw the receiptS, all in march and april. i enter ns at 16 february 2004. when he called me, he will ask how is the weather there? is it too warm? is it too cold? did ur tummy still pain? gastric? hows the food there? what u want? i send to u when we go and visit u la. how are u feeling? do u want some more chocolate? i bring more for u. now is raining season, dun get sick ya. if too difficult for u to join the activities tell them u cant, rest more ya. in past, he never told me or asked me so many questions ...all the answer or questions is like 'oh ok la,....then hanged up phone.....during ns, he say 'bye and good night'...of course i cried, i was touched, i have misunderstood my father. i thought he never concern us. but now he is so worry about me. now, i can say ns do help me understand my father a lot. i realized i love my father too. i cherish home cooking. i cherish every minutes i with my family. although i am studying in mmu, i will always call my father and chat with him. after ns, he seem change a lot. he join us, he understand us well. when i was moody, he will make me laugh, he chat with me like my best friend. he will buy us fast food that he wont last time. he will say ' i love u' that most father wont say so to their children. he will always joke with us, we played together just like children. so we did not scare father, but we respect him, love him,need him, we want him happy and healthy always... DADDY, I LOVE U....I LOVE U SO DEEPLY......